▪ Quentin Rivers Kruegar ▪
▪ Nineteen ▪
▪ Male ▪
▪ Questioning ▪
Trainer ▪ Unemployed
personality
Tired and soft-spoken, Quentin isn't one to make a strong impression on others upon first meeting, or even necessarily the second. Gentle, he tends to stay submissive and quiet most times and avoids most conflict, a follower sort who often and easily gets pinned as shy or anti-social. Truth be told, he is neither necessarily, but he does tend to keep to himself and find himself awkward around others, though he does enjoy the company of being around other people and is actually quite happy to be in social situations so long as he doesn't have the spotlight on himself.
What more often gets missed is that Quentin is compassionate and caring as well, with an honest intensity about himself. He may not be the fastest to react to things, nor necessarily the loudest or most expressive, but he is a lot more passionate about what he does and the things he believe in then people often take him for. Insecure and modest, he tends to try to attract as little attention as possible but when put to the test is resilient and vigilant, standing firm, especially for those he cares about.
Of defending himself Quentin seems to be often a little less confident or firm. While he isn't exactly a coward, he certainly seems to have a self-deprecating streak and a lack of self-confidence that leads him to be hesitant, stuttering, and generally submissive to his own detriment. Beyond this, he usually is his own worst enemy, tearing himself apart from the inside. Still he hides this from others, and remains as much as he can the optimistic and empathetic one, his own struggles and pains often pushing him to understand and better help others, even if he can't seem to ever turn those skills to his own life.
appearance
If gentle and tired are the first impressions one gets of his personality, soft and sleepy are perhaps the first ones visually. Indistinct for the most part, a willowy and awkward six foot frame with long gangly limbs is matched by short mousy brown curly hair and cloudy distant blue eyes. Pale and drawn, the only thing perhaps notable at all about Quentin is that he seems perpetually to be on the verge of falling asleep on his feet, his soft rounded face marked by eyelids half-closed and heavy and perpetual dark rings and bags. Passing fair otherwise, he has baby-ish cheeks and long elegant fingers and is in good athletic shape, but more toned then muscular by a long shot and unimpressive.
Even Quentin's clothing tends to be cozy and simple, blending in well most times and largely unchanging for simplicity of utility and familiarity rather then making any statements. Blue is his dominant color with quilted long-sleeves, jackets with just enough sleeve to hang over his hands, beanies, black and grey t-shirts, and loose jeans or casual pants matched with worn running shoes.
history
Content Warning - Spouse Abuse, Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts & Attempt
Quentin was always a quiet child. His father left before his born, his mother was unwedded and rather young, a fact her parents were not happy with as they proceeded to cut her off. Still, she had always wanted a child and treasured and loved Quentin, and he strived to be a good son to her, always close by her side and eager to help. She would come to take two jobs, juggling hours to make ends meet, and desiring to make things as easy as possible on her, Quentin took to his schooling with a quite studiousness and was always quick to help around the house and do what he could, learning quickly to cook for him and his mother and helping her clean the house and do the laundry and any other chore he could handle.
Even helping how he could though, some things Quentin couldn't help or prevent. The stresses of working two jobs at a time, the pressure of bills that couldn't be paid and rising debt, the illness and weakness from all the exertion physically and mentally, these he couldn't prevent even as much as he tried. And slowly they took their toll, taking a beautiful and wonderful woman and draining the life from her slowly before his eyes. She became sick, and withered. She tried to still make sure he would have support though, finding a new man to marry to try and take the pressure off and make a more stable family.
Beneath the charisma though, her new husband proved to be very abusive. It was subtle at first, he was always a little strong willed with what he wanted, and he often found it more appropriate to tell her or Quentin to do what he wanted done by his command. Then it grew, especially with Quentin. Sick and fading, often Quentin's mother was simply too tired or out of it to notice or realize, and even with the support of her new husband he didn't give her enough to quit her second job though certainly he seemed to have no problems spending to excess on his vices. Quentin though he was especially cruel to, though certainly the boy tried only to please. Hours on end Quentin was forced to work, though he was happy enough to do chores already, so he held his complaints. Odd comments and jokes were thrown his way, dangerous like baited lure. Uncomfortable questions of inappropriate nature. Yet Quentin was too young to understand it really, though perhaps they were only joking.
And when they got drunk they would get angry. They would rant about how they were burdened down with their useless wife and child. Quentin's mother, exhausted and upset, would simply cry, and they would turn their rage onto Quentin and take it out physically. Trusting his mother and confused and hurt by her lack of action to stop this, he held back his tears until he was alone and hid his bruises under his sleeves and learned to stomach it. As he got older though, it got steadily worse. It went from just uncomfortable questions to visits to his bedroom at night after Quentin's mother had fallen into an exhausted sleep or had gone to her second job. They didn't take it far at first, stopping when Quentin started to resist too much, though it left him sour and violent the next day. It wasn't the beatings though at night. Just touches. Still Quentin began attending events and clubs, staying late at school, and doing whatever he could to stay away from home for just a bit longer.
Then Quentin's mother really fell ill. She fainted at work and was dizzy, could barely stand or keep her food down. She stayed home a night, and the next went to the hospital. Quentin was 15 by that time, and scared at the thought of losing the one person who meant the most to him, especially knowing who that would leave him with. He spent several nights at the hospital with her, but she only got worse, and eventually the doctors told him and his step-father that she wasn't going to recover, that it had been quietly eating at her for years now without treatment and now was too far gone to treat. Heartbroken and sick with grief, Quentin was out of it and in a haze. He barely drifted through school. He was barely eating, his father putting him on a diet to 'conserve money' though they still seemed to eat more then well. His step-father suggested he stayed home and even called him in sick.
And then Quentin's step-father stayed home with him, alone together. Even a scalding hot shower and scrubbing himself until he was nearly bleeding didn't clean the filth Quentin felt. He didn't stay home again after that, moving between the hospital and school, and he many times almost tried to end his life, taking to keeping a razor blade on hand and wearing long sleeves that covered the marks that began to appear on his wrists and arms.
When Quentin's mother at last passed away, he did more then almost tried, finally pushed to the point of attempting. Exhausted and broken, he drowned himself in pills until he lost consciousness.
Someone found him, Quentin was never sure who, and called emergency services. They managed to pump him. He survived, but he still wasn't alright. The story came out, in pieces at least, though there was much he never said, was never willing to admit. He got therapy, and taken from his step-fathers care. In some ways he got better. New scars stopped appearing and he was able to manage being around others and not falling apart or going into nervous paranoid breakdowns. In some ways he still wasn't alright, keeping to himself, managing to be earnest and honest with others but still having a secretive side, still remaining withdrawn, quiet, solemn. Faint smiles and grim distant expressions, always on edge and never able to sleep without disturbing dreams plaguing him. But Quentin managed to function those few years until he became independent, and when he became an adult officially, he wasted no time in acquiring a passport and moving regions. It took him a while to find one to settle in, and even when he arrived he found himself struggling to find a job and a home and settle down. Restless and needing a goal, he tried to turn to training, looking for a distraction and a purpose in one.
played by: Saint Judas ▪ face claim: Quentin Smith from Dead By Daylight Rare pokemon:Archen